Neutral
by Kayo-San
Summary: So it's fear that drives them, and even a such a balanced term as 'Neutral' hides their guilt and misdeeds. 'Pacifist', they'd wish to be, but fear changed things. They strive for it, so why... are they so tired? A Neutral Run, that for all means and purposes committed Genocide. One-shot, Complete.
Ah, exams are over, grades are coming back, and I'm on my second TP run of Undertale. This fic, is I guess, a reflection of what truly did happen.

* * *

And so when they wake up, they know exactly what is going on.

 _/What is your name?/_

It calls for input, and they know that it's a game.

 _/Yuurei/,_ that's how they reply.

* * *

It goes black, and they wake up for the first time.

They walk through a looming gate, and snatches of dialogue and memories flit back.

 _Mt. Ebott._

 _The year 201X._

 _Climbing._

 _Hoping._

 _Running._

 _Falling._

Their heart is bitter, so full of fear.

Most things are black and white, and they're aware that they are not of this world's grayscale.

Walking up, it's a patch of golden flowers.

Looking at them, they're almost instantly repulsed.

Something tickles the edge of their mind.

 _Ah, wasn't this kind of flower the kind that grew in their village?_

It's an ancient predisposition, but these flowers are mildly toxic.

They frown, and then a particular flower pops up.

"Hi! I'm Flowey, Flowey the Flower."

The gold, animated, talking flower smiles cheerily, and her heart is almost warmed.

 _Maybe this world isn't so bad._

He runs through a couple terms, upon realising that they're new.

"Lv stands for LOVE, and here, we share LOVE by Friendliness Pellets, or EXP!"

He talks about SOUL and triggers a mode with a box.

It's reminiscent of a Pokemon combat screen, and they, instinctively dodge the white bits coming at them.

Despite being a Red heart shape, they can somehow move.

Watching the next wave of pellets fly at them, their heart literally drops.

They dodge, over and over, and the flower's face morphs.

 _Monster._

It's frustrated shout echoes in the dark room, and, they're scared.

Nicked by one, their HP drops by 3 points.

 _17 left._

The pellets rematerialize, and they're surrounded in a ring.

While it's shrinking rapidly, they attempt to break out of the ring, aiming for the least populated segment.

The flower is defeated, and because this is a game, they assume killed.

* * *

"I am Toriel, caretaker of the Ruins. I come by here every day to see if anyone has fallen. It's been a long time since a human last fell. Come with me, child."

She guides her through a few rooms, solving a couple puzzles for her.

"If you are ever attacked, just talk, buy time. I will settle the fight for you."

They talk to a dummy, and sure enough, Toriel gets rid of the Dummy.

They're almost afraid of their reliance on her.

In the next room, they're attacked by a Froggit.

They talk, and Toriel hastily chases the Froggit away.

Deep down, they're horrified that they trust Toriel, when she could be simply a more patient Flowey.

* * *

When Toriel leaves, though, the fear increases dramatically.

Being told to stay in that room, they can't do it.

They forge on ahead.

Recognising a Froggit from their prior fight, they daren't approach lest they be drawn into a battle.

They save at the sparkle, and somehow are filled by /DETERMINATION/.

Their random encounter is one that scares them badly.

Because they talked, and the Froggit wore down their health, and Toriel doesn't come.

They're clinging to hope, and the Froggit blushes at their compliment, but still, kills them.

They respawn at the SAVE point.

Filled with fear, they don't stay their hand when they re-encounter the Forggit.

They kill it, stabbing their stick through it, watching it scatter into dust.

This same dust, lingers, sticking to them.

Consequently, at each battle, they lose more and more hope, and by the fourth fight, they don't talk anymore.

Being thrust into battle, it becomes a deadly race of life and death.

They gain EXP, Gold, and up their Lvl.

They increase their attack power and HP.

Toriel calls, but never comes.

 _Trivial questions._

 _I prefer cinnamon, but I enjoy butterscotch._

They fight and solve their way through the Ruins.

Then, on a leaf pile, a Ghost.

A sad one.

 _But no less dangerous._

They don't bother talking, attacking viciously.

When the Ghost's, Nabstablook's, HP drops to 0, it sheepishly tells them that Ghosts can't be killed.

They ready their weapon again.

 _I won't die._

Its eyes are unreadable, but it obliges, disappearing.

They lose an EXP point.

* * *

They pick up a Toy Knife from a side room, and then head up.

It's a garden, with a tree that drops every leaf that grows.

They meet Toriel again, and by now, they could almost hate her.

But she fusses over them, and heals their wounds.

They save just outside the house.

Toriel shows them around, giving them a room, and free reign of the house.

"The pie is too hot now, if you take a nap, by the time you wake up, it'll be ready."

They read voraciously.

On History and on Snails.

Then, they sleep.

* * *

So when they wake, there's a slice of pie waiting for them.

While eating pie next to the fireplace, leaning against Toriel's armchair, they ask about the Ruins, and going home, asking about what's she's reading, and who she is.

She gives a vague answer to the last, and talks about her snail book.

Almost immediately after, she excuses herself.

Given the almost secret nature, it's no surprise that they give chase.

And multiple times, going further and deeper into the tunnel leading out of the Ruins, they defy her.

 _Just like Flowey._

 _She has a hidden agenda._

Because if Toriel were to keep them here, they would never be free.

"Then show me how determined you are."

The fight sequence is entered, and they fight, as desperate as ever.

Toriel's attacks are devastating, whittling their HP from 24 to 10 with ease.

It's a close shave, really, but they make it.

Still, as Toriel fades, she warns them, "My child, I see that you are DETERMINED. Do not let ASGORE catch you. His plan cannot be allowed to work."

 _Asgore is the King of Monsters._

 _7 human souls to break the barrier._

There's dust on their hands.

A tear leaks down the side on their face as they kneel there.

Because, even if she had nearly killed them, they had called her…

"Mother!"

* * *

In the next room, they see that same bed of hateful flowers.

Flowey reappears, smiling, congratulating them.

"In this world, it's killed for be killed."

They scream, falling upon him, and ripping his petals, telling him to shut up.

The pellets come at them, but they care little for it.

In the midst of the chaos, they faintly hear him in shocked fear.

"Why isn't your HP decreasing?!"

Their eyes are hateful, and their toy knife goes _stabitty-stab._

Flowey flees, and they haven't felt so satisfied ever.

* * *

Out in the cold, they meet Sans and Papyrus, both skeletons.

They guess that Papyrus is the older brother, but Sans is the more mature one.

And both of them make them laugh.

They could almost feel comfortable.

* * *

But everything ends.

Because they would love very much to be friends, but Papyrus…"NO, I, MUST CAPTURE THE HUMAN SO THAT I WILL BECOME POPULAR, AND EVERYTHING THAT I SO DESERVE."

And their heart hardens, and hurts still.

 _Why does everyone have some hidden agenda?_

They refuse to be captured, because King Asgore will kill them.

And therefore in turn, despite being blue, they land the final blow.

Maybe it's a skeleton thing, but it nonetheless makes them look away, tears gathering in the corner of their eyes.

Because Papyrus, at least his head, smiles, one last time.

The dust, it's thick on their hands, and they're left lying there in the snow, next to where someone they would almost call a friend perished.

And the guilt gnaws at them.

It _aches._

* * *

Undyne chases them, not just because of their SOUL, but also because of Papyrus, and their throat is so stuck they can no longer even explain themselves.

They try so hard, trying to make up for their wrongs, but fear drives them unlike everything else and therefore they kill and kill and _killkillkill and cannot stop._

 _They don't find monsters to kill, but kill every monster that tries to kill them._

 _The MERCY button lays untouched because begging to be SPARED would be weakness, and simply a turn in which they would be hurt._

So only, and because Monster Kid is peaceful and never hurts them, they protect him, saving him from a cliff, and sharing an umbrella with him.

When Undyne approaches, having cornered them, MK jumps out, spreading his hands.

"If you wanna hurt my friend dude, you're gonna have to go through me."

Because he's the first monster to have stood up for them, and called them a friend openly, they're so shocked that they cry, tears streaming down their face, because they're _so grateful._

And more than the waterfall water, the tears wash away the dust on their hands more easily.

He says that he has to go, and their heart constricts, they keep mum, even as they want to scream out, and beg him to not leave, _please,_ because the tears still leak silently.

* * *

Each time they flee, Undyne will catch them with ease.

When the food runs out, and they're so desperate, they attack with all their might.

They struggle valiantly because Undyne holds on by the strength of pure DETERMINATION, and so do they.

Therefore, when she scatters, they bow deeply, solemnly, because Undyne believed in, and fought for her principles.

The pink tutu is as dusty as she found it.

The ballet shoes make her feel ever so dangerous.

* * *

Dr. Alphys makes them feel guilty, because they cannot tell her the truth.

Mettaton gets on their nerves, and by the time they realise that Dr Alphys loves both Undyne and Mettaton, it's too far on, and for all the help that had been rendered, they've killed both the loves of Dr. Alphys.

They kill a spider whose treats they never knew about, laid a flower alongside the one set by a spider, leaving as the nest descended to mourn.

"I lied. You have to kill Asgore too."

They never have the courage to admit that they've killed Undyne, and so, they never will see Dr. Alphys, or anyone else for that matter.

The elevator goes up, and they listen to the stories that the monsters tell.

And they think, for once, not being attacked by the monsters.

 _Maybe, if, I just gave my SOUL up, everyone would be happy._

* * *

And in that hallway of gold, Sans smiles.

They're worn, and meet his completely black eyes.

Their apologies are hollow, because, "I have no special power, Sans. And I… could not let Papyrus kill me."

Those eyes glow blue, but they're judged as alright.

"LOVE, stands for Level of Violence. Your capacity to hurt. EXP, stands for Execution Points."

 _And that's why Nabstablook caused me to lose EXP._

They feel sick to their core at the implications of their levels now.

"DETERMINATION then? What DETERMINATION stand for?"

Sans arches an eyebrow at them.

"You've never done it again, then? This is your first?"

His eyes go black again, "I hope you do the right thing, next time. If not, you'll be in for a bad time."

 _De-termination._

 _The being with the greatest determination can SAVE._

 _Dying ExTEnsion Rate, Monster's Invincible NATure In Original Name._

A stat which decides how long the SOUL will persist after death, granting temporary invulnerability.

* * *

The King is kind.

Nothing like they expected, but he's not ready, and they pretend to be.

He begs them to end it, because he can no longer kill, and does not wish to hurt humans.

"Toriel was your Queen, wasn't she?"

 _And she left, and this makes their heart ache for the King._

They kill him.

Flowey takes over the 6 SOULs.

They cry out for help, and Help comes.

And when it re-occurs, they cry out, to the darkness, and no one comes.

So from within Flowey, even the monstrous being he morphs into, something is yelling to be heard.

Now, with a soul, he can feel.

The SOULs attack him, destroying him from inside out.

* * *

When things are all said and done, they spare him, like an idiot, because they killed everyone who mattered, and they were sparing a monster.

* * *

But by now they're sick and tired of killing over and over and maybe, they feel like the King.

And Flowey, who keeps telling them to kill him, and is steadily more and more confused…

They are almost tempted.

"Next time, come and find me, without killing anyone. Will it work, or will you be torn apart?"

 _Without killing anyone?_

 _Is that possible?_

* * *

On the next run, they talk to the Froggit in the room after Toriel leaves.

"Human, if you speak with a monster, some may become unwilling to fight. Then, please show some MERCY."

The next monster they meet bursts into tears when they comfort it.

The Whimsun runs away in tears after being comforted.

Their heart clenches in actual pain, because they realise that they killed so unnecessarily before.

 _Everyone they killed…_

They _scream._

* * *

This time, they'll make everything right again.

They must.

* * *

Lying in that pile of leaves, next to the SAVE point, suddenly, they have so little DETERMINATION.

Flowey's challenge echoes in their head.

They get up.

* * *

 _Because Yuurei is a monster, and Frisk is just another reincarnation._

 _This time, Frisk will make things right._

Therefore, Yuurei, no matter how long she must wait, should never be allowed to take over, even if she is continually present in Frisk.


End file.
